Who are they now

I know I have been away for a while and I apologize for my absence. I’ve been so busy with getting ready for school to begin, not only for myself but my three boys going back to school as well. Over the past few days a lot has happened and I plan to tell you about them as quickly as I can, some you may find funny or silly, others you may find crazy, but either way I will be telling them as my schedule permits. I’ll begin with the most recent of these “happenings” first.

Last night while sitting in bed and being bored out of my mind, there was nothing worth watching on TV, I was tired of packing, and unpacking and I didn’t want to start doing that again. So I decided to get out my mini laptop and start a game that I called “Who are they now?” my objective was simple, I look up people that I went to school with and find out how much they’ve changed and in essence who are they now as opposed to who they were when I knew them in school. In all honesty I didn’t think I would have any luck with my game but I was bored so I was gonna give it a whirl worst case scenario I wouldn’t find anyone. However to my shocking surprised I actually found a lot of my old classmates, also to my shocking surprise was just how much some of them have changed, in some instances I would have never known who I was looking at, had they not had identifying marks, birth marks on their face for example, freckle patterns, eyes etc. Now before I go any further I want to state a few things, because I’m sure someone will read this and be like “People change” and yell at me for what I’m gonna say. So for the record I know people change, I’ve changed a lot since grade school and so I’m not saying that other’s don’t change, I’m simply stating that I was surprised by some things I learned while playing my game. So here’s some facts about myself that has happened to me over the years…

I grew up an angry child in a completely dysfunctional home, yet my family and I were close. I learned early on that as long as you’re smile people won’t ask questions, so it was no surprise to me that I’ve been in therapy more times that I can count. I went from being captain of the dance team to 16 and pregnant, from having no want or need to go to college, to completing high school before my class while pregnant and earning a degree in communications, and working on the second one. I went from living day by day and sleeping on a floor to living in an 8bed/8bath house that was loaded, then turned around and gave it all up for love. While I may not be proud of all the thing’s I’ve done in my life, they shaped me into the person I am now, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

So now back to the original story, I know people change, if you placed pictures of me over the years next to each other you may not believe they are all of me, sometimes I find it hard to believe that they are me. So anyway, I’m playing my game, and finding people left and right, and I start realizing something (And I’m sure this is where people will start badgering me, saying the whole spill of how people change, and all this other stuff), I begin to notice...


THE SIZE 2 GIRLS
The Size 2 Girls were different; the size 2 girls at one time not so long ago were really pretty, peppy girls, who were skinny and the "it" girls. Now they are not so pretty, in school their motto was "if you aren't a size 2 or less you are fat" and thus in their mind none existent, now they are bigger than size 2 some with children some without, but still the point I’m making is they are bigger. Here comes my inner thoughts, I wonder if they would have still had their mentality of a “size 2 or less, or your none existent”, if they knew that in the future they would have been on the opposite side of the spectrum.

THE A SQUAD
I also noticed that some people that I knew were great students, decided against going to college and are now in their own words miserable. My inner thoughts “What happened to make them not go to college, was it that they didn’t want to, or did they not attend to retaliate against their parents, or was it another reason completely different”?


THE LADIES MAN
Another interesting thing I noticed was some of the guys I went to school with who were “ladies man” back in school are now single, and ugly. When I was in school the “ladies man” usually had his own car, money to spend, was always wearing the top name brands, didn’t speak to the ugly chicks (none size 2 girls). My inner thoughts “Was the way they treated people really how they were, was it not a façade put on to show others who the top dog was, was their personality really so bad that people wouldn’t want to be around them as they grew older”?


APPEARANCE
And another thing I noticed, was some of the guys who had typical boy cut, now have long hair, the girls that had been called dykes for short hair, now have long flowing locks. That part was shocking to me, especially Dale, who would have thought he’d look like someone out of a rock star performance. And then there was the dieting thing, girls who once were above the size 2 or less spectrum, now were closer and under the size 2, Catherine was at max a size 1, but I’m thinking double zero, when I knew her, to me she wasn’t fat, she was average, a size 5-6 at most now you can see her bones. I almost cried when I seen how much she had changed, I’ve battled with anorexia and bulimia, and it hurts me to think she may be struggling with the same problem. My inner thoughts “Did what the size 2 girls say to her make her that way, did she really believe you have to be a size 2 or less to be perfect and to exist, she was/is a beautiful person rather they knew it or not”.


THE FIGHTERS
And lastly I noticed that people who once were in different cliques and hated each other, those that would have physical altercations with each other, were friends now, I had to take a double look at some of them, and yes I know more badgering will probably follow because of this but oh well. I took the double look, not because I don’t think people can change, I know they can and I’m glad they are friends and were able to work through their issues, but I took double look because those were people who couldn’t stand by each other without throwing punches. The fighters were friends, those who were picked on during school because they were poor, who were treated like dogs, because they were big, who were knocked down and beat up because they did well in school but sucked at sports, these people are now friends, not associates, friends that actually hang out together in public. My inner thoughts “I am so proud of these people for changing and becoming great friends, they have much more forgiveness in them than I think I could have”.

So there it is, what started out as a game became something completely different, it went from fun because I’m bored, to searching for answers to why they changed, and trying to find a way to help them if they needed it. I wasn’t really every picked on, but I got called some names once in middle school and after fighting the boy, yes I said boy, I never got called names again, until high school when I got pregnant, and at that point in my life, I didn’t care enough about others to fight with people, I had already decided that if people don’t like me and accept me for who I am, then they can kiss my behind, because I won’t change for anyone, and I’m not going to pretend to be something or someone I’m not, I’m gong to be true to myself, and if doing that bothers them, I won’t be losing sleep over it.

How have you changed since grade school, how have those you knew in school changed, if they have changed at all?

Willow Monroe

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